Shards
by shuramiyaki
Summary: Enrico's violent breakdowns always left nothing but shards in their wake, and Anderson was always the one who had to pick them all back up.
1. Chapter 1

Tense silence permeated the room as two men stood near one another, with one's back turned to the larger of the two. A light chuckling could be heard from the smaller man, his long body swaying in front of the window in an eerie rhythm and casting an ominous silhouetted shadow across the room. It's dark blanket laid diagonal across the tall man's worried features, hiding one of his eyes in the wavering shadow while the other eye flashed, his glasses reflecting the light of the stars.

"How lang 'ave ye been drinking Enrico?"

A hollow laugh rang around the room. "For many years my dear Alexanderrr~." Enrico's flowing Italian lilt was slurred, his tongue having lost its silver coating as the constant flow of wine corroded it away. The shadow jolted to the side as Enrico buckled to the side, but regained his footing with another chilling chuckle.

"Tha's nae whit Ah meant lad, this es nae time tae be foolin'."

"I answered your question Paladin, I fail to see the foolery in that."

"Stoop tha'." Anderson's voice turned stern as his paternal tendencies kicked in. "Enough o' this play ahn tell meh whit ye ken Ah meant."

"Ch." Loose, unkempt hair tousled as Enrico threw his head back and downed the rest of his glass. "Why? So you can judge me with that look I am sure you're giving me right now even further? Heh." Stumbling sideways he turned away from the window only to pour himself another glass. "You're like everyone else."

"Put tha' doon Enrico, dinnae make meh take et froom ye."

"And why would you do that? " Like a demented ballerina he spun on a single foot to face the only other soul in the room. All of his normal posture and balance was gone, washed away by the alcohol and the spinning nosedive that was his mental health. His head lolled to the side as he continued to sway on his feet, his dull hair having lost long lost it's splendor and pouring down his body in a tangled, tragic mess. His arm hung limp and useless in a way that reminded Anderson of the many times he had seen a man's dislocated arm. So badly did he want to walk across that void of a room, wanting nothing more to take that arm and bring the life back into it

And those eyes, usually so bright and sharp were glossy and listless, were now a swirling storm of green sludge polluting those cat eyes that could pierce into one's soul. Even through the sweaty, stray locks falling over and obscuring his face could Anderson see how far his ward had degraded, how far he had fallen into the never-ending pit of the past and the present that constantly threatened to swallow him up and devour his fragile soul.

"Tae kape ye froom hurtin' yerself any further."

"Keep me from hurting myself?" Enrico threw back his head and laughed, stumbling backwards on unsteady feet as his deprecatory laughter filled the air. Then he stopped abruptly in mid-cackle and flipped his head back to reveal the razor-sharp sneer of malice cutting across his feature. "If anyone knows how to take care of myself it's me."

Anderson involuntarily shivered as the room seemed to drop in temperature when Enrico's voice took a new cruel, condemning tone.

Painfully silent moments followed before a curt giggle broke the air.

"But of course you don't think that! Noooooo." Enrico twisted about again, waving his arms with the theatrics of an actor as he paced towards the looming windows. "It was always me that was wrong wasn't it? Never anyone else. It was all MY fault no matter what happened or the situation to you wasn't it?"

"Tha's not true-"

"Don't lie to my face Anderson!" He spun around, his hair whipping against his face and pointed a thin, accusing digit straight at the heart of his target. "In your mind all I can do is wrongs never rights! All you do is condemn me!"

Heels clicked against the tiled floor as the demented man stalked towards Anderson.

"I'm just wrong to you aren't I?"

Taking a breath through his nose, Anderson continued to stand tall and unflinching, his face remaining a perfect example of cool repose even when the vicious, snarling man shoved his twisted face up into his.

"Nae, nae yer not." Shaking his head he reached up to place a comforting hand on Enrico's shoulder but was slapped away, hard.

"Don't touch me!" Enrico spit out his words like a cobra as he twisted away out of reach.

"Ah joos' want tae help, ye need tae sit down, coom on."

"Help? You want to help? Constant lectures and condemnations are considered as "help" to you? Well then by all means! Help me! Tell me how fucked up you think I am once again!"

"Tha' es not ahn was never meh intention oor feeling ahn ye ken tha'."

"No Anderson I don't know that, because from my experiences that has been EXACTLY how you feel!"

"Enrico whit happened? Why aur ye actin' this way talk tae meh."

"Don't play me for a fool, I don't give information to people who will just throw it back in my face."

"Ah 'ave never doon tha'!"

"Yes you have! You always have and I see no reason why that would change now!"

"Enrico. Enrico Ah dinnae understand." Anderson held out his hands pleadingly walking forward and tryting to appear as non-threatening as possible. "Ah joos' want tae help ahn yer not making any sense…"

Enrico scoffed indignantly and walked away to his desk, preferring the feel of a full wineglass in his hand to the feel of Anderson's hands on his shoulders. "Of course you don't understand." He murmured into the glass, staring into the deep, rich liquid. "You never have."

He threw back a swig carelessly, with rivulets of wine dribbling down his jaw to flow down his neck. "You were always too busy understanding and caring about how others felt, but not me."

"Enrico." Anderson walked forward but kept his distance, his heart beating hard in his chest as he could only stand and watch his ward throw himself into despair. "Ah 'ave always cared aboot ye, sae mooch et hurts soomtimes, nay, almost all th' time." He paused to see Enrico's reaction and upon seeing none, continued. "Ah 'ave only criticized ye fer yer own guid, tae kape ye froom making th' same mistakes, tae kape ye froom being hurt. Et was because Ah cared about ye, not anyone else. There es nothang wrong wit ye, yer human, joos' loch everyone else, loch meh."

"You're not human."

Anderson winced at the blow, at that harsh reminder of what he really was. "Ye're right, Ah'm not. Boot mah soul es Enrico, sae dae not discount meh fer meh abilities o' empathy ahn understandin'. Mah physical status has never affected meh en those areas befoor ahn they won't now."

He felt a short burst of hope when Enrico turned his head, but it fizzled out the moment the man turned back to his drink and downed another glass.

"Enrico plaze, coom sit doon ,talk to meh."

"I always wondered why you bristled so much when reminded of what you are. It confused me." Two clacks rang out as Enrico lifted his heels to cross his legs, balancing with a remnant of his usual grace as he stared out the window, swirling his glass. "You are man made holy, the embodiment of divine punishment on earth and most valued achievement of the Vatican. You're the cause of the pride of many and all of Iscariot look up to you like the right hand of God that you are…" Enrico drifted off, the words dying at his lips as he bit at his lip. "You may not be human, but you are great, more pure and perfect than I will ever be."

From his spot behind him Anderson could hear a single faint choked sob, and a renewed rush of worry swept over him. "Dinnae say tha'." Seeing that Enrico had calmed he took a few tentative steps forward, his voice smooth and soothing. "Dinnae say sooch things aboot yerself, nae wan, not even ye, es allowed tae speak o' ye tha' way. Yer perfectly fine."

"LIAR!" Enrico swung around and roared with hair whipping about him wildly, the force of his movements sending him falling back and grasping at the desk, but all the time showing Anderson the frenzied manic sprawled all over his face. "You know what I am! The devil's child, a demon in human skin! An illegitimate bastard soul! Everyone else thinks this way! Do not insult my intelligence by insisting to my face that you do not think the same!"

"Enrico." Anderson's voice and face were stern. "Ah dae not think o' ye tha' way. Ah never did ahn Ah never will. Ye aur not those things."

"Ahhah, hah." Enrico swopped a hand over his hair before stumbling about, looking at the floor in half-hearted searching. "Why am I not surprised you'd say that?"

"Because et's true."

"Si." Disoriented feet stopped in their tracks as their master feel deep in thought, his arms dangling at his sides as he stared at the wall and went silent for what seemed like hours to Anderson. The sound of blood rushing through his veins rushed through his ears as he stood with bated breath. Enrico's demeanor had changed into a fragile composure that Anderson feared that he would shatter if he made even a whisper. He would rather not disturb what could be a turn for the better, and so waited.

"Somewhere, in the back of my mind, something is telling me that what you say is true."

Anderson caught a quick glimpse of the blankness that had overtaken Enrico's face as the man turned and like a lifeless doll made his way to the back of his desk. The screeching noise of a desk drawer being pulled open sliced the air like a rusty blade as Anderson watched, his insides twisting in tension as he strained to see what Enrico had retrieved.

A rush of horror flooded him as he saw the familiar glint of a weapon he knew all too well.

"Whit aur ye doing wit tha'?"

"Holding it of course!"

"Ah ken tha' boot why en all hells dae ye 'ave et'!"

"Ohhhhhh Anderson…" A veil of sickly grey surrounded his smoldering eyes as the man brought the blade up lovingly to his chest, holding the hilt like a delicate instrument as the deadly metal hovered near his feather-white throat. "Do you not think after years and years of being around a man who practically oozes such magnificent weaponry that I would not have one? They are my precious keepsakes."

Anderson felt sickened as Enrico closed his eyes and caressed the flat of the blade tenderly, disgusted at how he crooned with pleasure as he cradled the device of slaughter close to his vulnerable form.

"Put tha' doon, put tha' doon right noo Enrico this isnnae acceptable."

Enrico looked up, shocked and hurt. "Why do you say that? Is it because of what these are to you? Weapons? Is that all they are in your eyes?" His eyes softened as he looked down the straight of the blade. "You are so unforgiving to yourself, you see too many flaws in the perfection that you are. This blessed silver is my own little piece of you."

"Thaur weapons Enrico, nothang moor. Noo put them doon."

Bolts of terror shot through Anderson as the blade came dangerously close to his ward's exposed skin. His body twitched with the instinctive to rush over and yank the bayonet away, but he resisted, knowing that sudden movements could make unsteady hands send the blade through their master's own throat. His nostrils flared with heavy breaths as he agonized, feeling wrenched internally at the feeling of being completely stuck and helpless, forced to watch as the love of his life picked the blade of judgment up and held it like a violin, his chin resting on the flat.

"Silly man." Enrico chuckled, the sound clawing into Anderson's gut. "They are magnificent, beautiful, elegant and powerful, flying through foes and hearts alike. My heart, in particular." Enrico opened his eyes slowly to stare at Anderson with half-lidded arousal, cloudy desire turning his green eyes into an opaque, swirling, lusty haze.

And it made Anderson want to vomit.

Those were eyes that he saw while they were both at their most vulnerable, stripped bare of their trappings with their shields thrown away in the trash as they would twist together under crimson silk and satin sheets, the bold pigment a striking contrast against their gasping, moaning bodies.

Those eyes were not welcomed in a situation like this. They did not deserve to be poisoned in such a way.

If he couldn't use force, then he could use reason. "Ye dinnae need et then Enrico, Ah'm right en front o' ye, Ah'm right 'ere ahn Ah want sae desperately tae joos' hold ye right noo." He held out his arms beseechingly, his eyes begging his beloved to move his feet towards him for once, not away. "Plaze, plaze, plaze put tha' horrid substitute doon, ahn coom tae th' real thang tha's right 'ere!"

"So expertly crafted, so brilliant."

Anderson's shoulders sagged in dejection.

Blatantly ignoring him, Enrico began pretending to play it like the violin he fancied it to be with his body swaying in a hypnotizing rhythm to the music stitching itself together within his clouded mind.

"Tuned perfectly like the holy instrument of God you are, a being so perfect and clear of sound that the angels herald you in your wake. But there are no songs for me, so I must bask in yours, for you are glorious while I am nothing.

"Stoop, plaze, joos' stoop talkin'."

"The sharpest most exquisite blade in the world, and you wonder why I keep it close."

Something about the air seemed to rise in ominous energy tingles of electricity raising the hairs on the back of Anderson's neck. His heart pounded, his brow sweated, the rush of blood in his ears was deafening, roaring like the mighty flood of God as his wide eyes watched on.

Enrico was playing on, his fingers moving at a frantic pace as the song began to reach its unknown climax, and never had Anderson been so afraid of a song in his life. Each frenzied movement brought the blade dancing closer and closer to his neck, threatening to consume his flesh like the flickering flames of a growing fire.

"Coom back tae meh Enrico snap oot o' whitever 'as ensnared ye ahn coom back tae meh."

The blade began to move up and down in a slow sawing motion, cutting through the air near the flesh of his throat, taunting Anderson into a rising panic with it's deadly malice. Never had he looked at his own prided tools with such glowering anger, feeling as if they were staring right back at him, mocking him with the power they had to slice away the one person he adored above all others right out of this world.

"Let et gae! Et has naethang fer ye boot pain sae put it doon! They onlae ken 'ow tae hurt!"

"I know." Enrico's eyes snapped open to pierce Anderson like an arrow as he finished the last stroke of his song, sliding the blade high up along the edge of his throat with the elegant finality of a concertos close. Sharp eyes became cloudy as the darkness descended upon them yet again and he gazed at Anderson as if in a beautiful dream. "Isn't it wonderful?"

Anderson's eyes were glued on the scene, his body screaming at him to get over there, to stop the blade's descent and whatever it brought with it, but he couldn't, and it was tearing him at the seams.

"Enrico, Enrico stoop this, put et doon, thrown et away, dae anything except fer this madness!" His voice was panicked and shaky, his eyes flicking back and forth between the blade and eyes, searching for any tiny sign that this madness would cease all together, that Enrico would hug HIM against his chest instead of that sickening substitute.

"You just don't understand do you? Even after all I've said? Anderson, every part of you is wonderful, it is pure rapture to feel your perfection cut me like a blade."

Enrico's eyes fluttered shut and the blade slid down and sliced into his skin. "Ahhhh, ahhhyesssss, Andersssssoooonn. Ohhhhhhhhhh."

Those sounds, those sounds that were being crooned were those of intense pleasure, and getting louder by the second as the blade continued it's slow destruction, cruelly bringing Enrico to a twisted, trembling orgasm.

"Andersooonn! Ahh! AHH! ALEX!"

He bucked and shook, hitting the desk with his hips as his head was thrown back in ecstasy, screaming his transcendence to the world.

Stomach twisting, muscles tensing, those horrid sounds filling his ears Anderson rushed forward, forgetting his caution and grabbing the blade, holding it tightly despite the way it bit into his flesh. He didn't say a word, but he stared down at his lover stuck in the midst of frenzy with deathly seriousness.

Enrico's eyes jerked open to see the dangerous face glowering down at him and was cut-off mid-climax with a gasp of fear, and he cowered, frozen by the much larger man' threatening stare down.

Anderson loomed over Enrico, his own ominous tint of darkness clouding his face as he began to slowly, carefully pry the blade his ward's unmoving fingers.

The blood from his hand mixed with the blood of his dearest one's throat as he managed to finally pull it away, and tossed it far away without as much as a glance, never taking his eyes off of the wayward man.

His eyes wide and trembling, Enrico backed away swiftly, retreating to the other side of the large desk for protection.

Anderson didn't chase after him, suddenly feeling nauseous and weak as his adrenaline faded, and as the sight and smell of blood, Enrico's blood, on his fingers made him retch. He could hear the loud rush of air as he drew it into his nostrils, his chest filling and deflating as he composed himself.

Not daring to look at his hand as he wiped it off on his cassock, he instead stared at Enrico's neck intensely. The red-stained throat was not spilling forth gushes of blood, so no artery had been cut, and his lover's breathing, panicked as it was, was still normal. The cuts had been shallow, and Enrico was relatively unharmed, at least physically. In his head Anderson praised the Lord over and over again in his mind.

"W-Why, why did you look at me that way?"

Anderson's attention was snapped back to the quivering man standing across from him, and his gaze softened, brought back to his previous desperate, pained state as he saw his prince so scared and flighty.

"Ah wis scared fer ye Enrico, Ah wis terrified."

"You're just like all of them! Looking at me, scathing me with their eyes!" Clutching his head Enrico staggered about wildly before hitting the side of the desk with a yell of pain. He fell upon the desk, digging his nails into the wood as he gasped for air and struggled to stay on his feet. "I am the same thing to you as everyone else do not deny it! Even now you scorn me!"

"Enrico whit th' hell aur ye talkin' aboot Ah'm not doin' tha' ahnAh never will! Enrico Ah luv ye!"

"Love me?" Enrico's eyes widened in thought for a split second, and then faded into a cool calm. "Why the hell would you or anyone else love me? The Devil's child?"

"Ah wish ye wuid stop saying tha'."

A hollow laugh filled the air with self-deriding humor. "Stop saying that? What? The truth?" The laughs faded to mad giggles as the man bucked and bent with amusement.

An empty wine bottle was laying on the floor, bleeding out it's last few drops onto the hardwood floor as it rolled about, shaken by the foot stamping the ground with little pools of blood-red liquid trialing behind it and reflecting the moonlight pouring though the massive windows with a demon-like sheen. Another empty bottle rolled and wobbled about slightly on the desk as the man responsible for it's half-full state hit and knocked his desk around with his spastic laughter.

"Et's nay th' truth Enrico! How can Ah git ye tae see tha'?" Anderson stood a few feet away, face creased in frantic concern for his unstable ward. "Please stoop this, yeh're not en yer right mind noo. Ye need tae rest-"

"How dare you act like you care!" Enrico's face contorted with a powerful burst of rage, his eyes twitching and filled with fury as he raised his fist as high as it could go and slammed it upon the desk with reckless abandon.

Even the explosion of glass breaking into countless shards could not mask the sickening sound of bone cracking as the fist slammed down upon the desk with tremendous force, shattering the bones. The seething face glaring poisoned daggers did not show any pain from his now broken hand, the pure adrenaline mixed with the alcohol and hysteria making Enrico near immune to pain.

Anderson felt as if his own bones had been crushed when he heard his ward's aristocratic hand snap.

"Enrico! Stoop et! Ye've hurt yeself!" Now panicked Anderson leapt forward and ran around the desk, restraining the man with a tight grip on his shoulders. "Plaze, plaze joos' calm doon ye need help noo."

Enrico screamed at the restraint and thrashed about, kicking like a mad horse at Anderson's unwavering legs. "Get your hands off of me you lying bastard! You have no right to touch me!" Eyes flashed with bright insanity, shining with a deadly glint under the moonlight casting a sickly shadow across Enrico's twisted, contorted face. "Don't touch me! Get off! GET OFF!" Screeching in an unearthly voice he swung that long neck around to smash his head into Anderson's face with a force so great that a loud crack resounded throughout the room.

Anderson hissed sharply through tensely clamped teeth as he felt the bone of his nose break from the blow, the sudden stab of blinding pain causing his grip to tighten immensely without thinking. All the power of his indomitable tendons clasped Enrico's narrow shoulders like the talons of a hawk, squeezing and crushing a frame not meant for such treatment unbearably hard. His disoriented senses now overloaded with bone-crushing agony his eyes grew wide, the terror reflecting in them as clearly as if one was looking into a mirror. Writhing under the agonizing grip he wailed pitifully, futilely struggling against Anderson's deadly grip.

A distressed wail alerted Anderson to the harm he had unintentionally caused and let the man go as his stomach dropped in absolute horror at what he had accidentally done. The metallic tang of his own blood stung his tongue as it ran into his agape mouth, looking at his hands, and then to the man shaking and stumbling around, his constant cries cutting his heartstrings.

"Ah'm sae saerry…" Anderson slowly started forward, hands outstretched to show he meant no harm as he whispered his pained apologies. "Ah'm sae saerry, Ah'm sae saerry Ah dinnae mean tae…"

"STAY THE HELL AWAY! GET OUT!"

"Enrico plaze, dinnae dae this Ah'm saerry!"

"GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!" Anger and terror flashed across Enrico's eyes as he grabbed an empty bottle and chucked it at his protector, but then crying out from the pain in his shoulder.

Anderson ducked away but didn't retreat, moving forward, trying to calm his prince, to hold him-

He stopped, suddenly feeling the sickening sensation of muscles and bones crushing under his palms, even though his hands were empty.

"Aye, Ah'll gae." He slowly straightened up and walked off, feeling as if the world were spinning about him, that it wasn't reality and it was all just a horrid dream. The door seemed miles away and he felt as if hours had passed as his hand felt the cool metal of the knob in its grasp.

Anderson froze at the door, his heart wrenching as he continued to hear the agonized pants and whimpers coming form across the room. He didn't want to go, he wished to God that Enrico would come to his sense and let Anderson scoop him up in his arms and care for him, like he always did.

"Ah dinnae want tae leave ye loch this Enrico. Ah really dinnae."

"I don't care! Just leave!"

"Ah will though, because Ah seem tae beh doin' moor 'arm than guid tae ye, ahn Ah dinnae want tha'. Boot mah doors aur open, ef ye need meh." He took a deep shaky breath as he blinked back the tears spilling from his eyes and onto the doorknob. "Ah joos' want ye tae beh alricht."

Only angry huffing resounded across the gap between them as Anderson waited for a response.

"Aye, Ah see."

The door felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds as he pushed it open, turning back to look at his ward one more time. "Ef ye need meh, plaze coom tae meh. Ah luv ye Enrico."

The doors shut with a hollow ring as he exited, walking briskly back to his room as he fought the spiraling pit of despair twisting inside him.


	2. Chapter 2

Enrico was left alone, with only the hollow darkness and his demented mind to accompany him in the void that was his office. After his wooden doors had shut the only sound in his ears was his own heavy panting as he leaned on his desk, and a smile crept onto his face. He was gone, he was gone and he had gotten him to leave.

A strong feeling of power swept through him and he laughed, loud and powerful. That whole evening he had felt weak, powerless against the world that hated him but now he was reminded of all the clout he held. Only he could command the strongest man in Iscariot, no, the world, and held that leash with pride.

After a few minutes of his solitary celebration he quieted, his laughter subsiding as the room's darkness came back into view.

How empty it was.

And cold.

And quiet.

Where there were only moments ago joy there was now fear, flooding his mind as the realization of what he had done sank in.

"Anderson?"

The echo of his whimper was his only response, and that was when the loneliness suddenly crashed inwards upon him.

His skin turned icy, freezing cold even as he hugged himself with his one good arm and sank to the ground, the tears streaming down his face the only source of heat felt on his skin.

"Alex!" He cried out in vain to the empty room, wishing that through the force of his words alone his only source of love and comfort would reappear.

"Come back! Please! I don't want to be here, not without you!"

Sobs wracked his body, choking on his own cries as he hugged his knees to himself, desperately needing the heat he seemed to be unable to generate. The thought of Anderson warming him, holding him made his cries escalate and ring in his own ears. At that moment those sounds of despair were the only sounds that existed in his dark cage.

Suddenly, in a cruel answer to his desires for warmth an agonizing tore through his hand and up his arm, rending his body in it's onslaught of pain and reducing the already broken man to a writhing, screaming mess upon the floor.

His shoulders burned, his neck stung and ripped further with each turn of his head, and his shattered hand felt as if it were filled with pieces of broken glass, cutting and slicing at him from the inside. And all of this pain had fallen upon him like wave in the time span of a second.

"Hahhh! Hah! Anderson! Anderson! Aiuto! Ah!" His chest heaved and shook as he gasped like a fish desperate for water, his wide fear-filled eyes staring helplessly up at the painted ceiling.

"I need you! I need you…."

His body fell lax, helpless and vulnerable on the floor as he piteously clutched his searing arm, sobbing quietly as he gave in to the pain and regret consuming him.

"I need you."

With time cries faded to whimpers as he lay there, defeated, with the tremendous weight of all of his life's pain and fears pressing on his chest like a boulder. Now more than ever did he crave his guardian's soothing, reassuring words that could remove any rock and toss it far into the distant sea. He ached to feel the solid rumble of his chest and strength of his arms, the tender kisses to his face, as he was held close in his arms.

"_Ef ye need meh, plaze coom tae meh. Ah luv ye Enrico."_

"Anderson!" Sitting up Enrico looked around the room madly, searching for the voice he heard.

There was still nothing. He was still alone. The voice had been only in his mind taunting him.

Or reminding him.

"Yes, yes I can go to him!" a surge of hope rose in his heart as he began the arduous climb upwards, pulling himself up by a single arm to regain his footing.

"_Don't be stupid, why would he want to help lest be around someone like you. You're disgusting, undeserving of being in his presence."_

The breath hitched in his throat and wouldn't become loose. He couldn't breathe, the pain from the truths the voice spoke freezing his windpipe and making him fall to his knees, rasping for air as his sight went hazy.

"I-" Another wheeze, his body protesting as with a burst of renewed vigor he forced his windpipe to open. "I know." He landed his hand on the desk and gripped it with eagle's talons and clawed upwards, the breath returning to him as he stood up as straight as he could manage.

The next few moments he spent just breathing, focusing on the rush of cool air into and out of his lungs, and staring at the door. It was so far away.

"But I need him, he'll understand."

Anderson was sitting on the side of his bed, his face buried in his hands as he cursed himself over and over again and repeating the events of that night constantly in his head as he searched for a way, any way he could have fixed it.

"Ah shuid 'ave never left. Ah left 'im. Why did Ah leave?"

He knew the answer to that of course, but it was so painful to remind himself of the harm he had caused, both physically and mentally.

It had all started out as another regular evening, there had been no indicator of Enrico falling so far when they had met earlier that day. The man had been quite pleasant, smiling and greeting him with two pecks on both cheeks and tugging him along to a private room, just for the purpose of asking him if he would like to join him that evening.

It was obvious the answer Anderson had given, otherwise he would not be sitting here in anguish at the knowledge that his ward was in trouble, but was helpless to stop it.

Was it because he had arrived late? Unforeseen circumstances had held him up, and he had ended up arriving hours past the arranged meeting time. He had been expecting an angry chiding when he walked into that door, not slurred words and a manic grin.

It seemed that lately he had been seeing that face more than before. The had breakdowns been coming more frequently lately, and the guilt from knowing that he still couldn't do anything about them ripped at his heart.

He felt stuck, feeling as if his presence had further unraveled the man than he would have been if Anderson hadn't come at all, but he was hurt, in even in ways not visible to the human eye.

Looking around the room, he began to wish he had his modest abode back at the orphanage instead of the uncomfortably large room he was given at the headquarters. The vast space had become oppressing and bleak, making everything feel so much colder than it should be.

His heart froze, not because of the cold, but because he had heard the best sound he had heard all evening.

The bed creaked loudly as Anderson leapt from it and rushed to the door, towards the loud, uneven knocks that he recognized from experience.

His arms were wide open before the door had completed his course, accepting the crying, shaking figure lovingly into his arms.

"Shhh, shhh et's alricht noo, et's alricht. Ah got ye mah dove."

He scooped Enrico up into his arms, feeling a mix of relief and sorrow when he felt the man's golden head tuck under chin and the tears falling onto his skin. A shaky hand clung desperately to the lapels of his cassock as Anderson made his way to his bathroom, trying to be brisk but the sharp cries of pain that erupted from Enrico's lips as his shattered hand was jostled made the short trip painfully long.

"AhAHH!" Enrico's face scrunched up in pain as Anderson kicked the bathroom door open, twisting his hand in the cloth of the man's cassock further when the soft petting of his hair and whispered comforts did nothing to numb his panicking nerves.

"Ah ken, Ah ken et hurts boot Ah'm going tae make et better, et'll beh alricht mah luv. Ah got ye."

He continued to stroke the tarnished gold hair as he placed his precious bundle gently on the ground, leaning him up against the wall and giving him a kiss to his brow before going off to fetch supplies. As he searched his cabinets for the required items he heard gasping whimpers of longing behind him.

"A-a, Anderson, don't go."

Enrico's body had begun to tilt with his head lolling loosely onto his shoulder, too weak to straighten back up and threatening to send the man falling onto his side. The only strength that Anderson could see the man still possessing was the weak grasp he had on his injured arm.

"Ah'm not going anywhere. Dinnae ye waerry." Anderson swooped down to his knees right in front of his patient, wiping the sweat from the man's brow with a cool cloth. "Onlae ae cruel man wuid leave ye en sooch distress."

"Then you are the world's only good man."

Taken aback by Enrico's sudden ability to form clear words he halted, frowning with concern as he saw how pale and sickly his skin was, how his determined eyes were now unfocused and blind with pain.

"Tha's not true."

"Yes it is."

Anderson quickly caught the man before he fell, wincing at the raspy softness of the man's voice. This was not the time for lectures.

"Ah'm going tae look at yer cut, Ah'm joos' going tae tilt yer head oop ae bit…"

"AH!"

"O God, Ah'm saerry, Ah'll try tae beh doon as quick as possible. Hold on fer meh Enrico."

The movement split open the raw wound, exposing the slick, red flesh in a bright sickening display, with crusty splotches of dried blood splattered around it. The cut had widened and grown significantly, now forming a gruesome necklace around the front of Enrico's delicate throat.

"Noo this will sting, hang en there." Letting the man's head lean into his palm he poured the disinfectant onto a cloth lying on the floor and picked it up, hesitating briefly before softly dabbing the bleeding wound. Enrico gasped sharply and jerked as the sharp stings assaulted him. Anderson could only whisper more soft words of encouragement and stroke his head with the thumb of his bracing hand as he continued his cleaning.

"There weh gae, ye did great, everythang's painless froom 'ere on oot. Ye're going tae beh fine."

Enrico just groaned, the Adam's apple on his neck jerking up and down as he struggled for air. Anderson gave him another kiss and a pet to his hair before grabbing the gauze and bandages, pressing the man's head back into the wall with the utmost care.

"Last thang, then weh can take care o everything else, aye?" Anderson smile weakly for reassurance, but it went unnoticed as the sick man muttered and lolled his head about.

With the movement holding the gauze steady was difficult work, but after a few tries he managed to wrap the tape securely about Enrico's lithe neck, tying them up with only enough pressure to hold the gauze against the skin. With his breathing already so labored, avoiding restraining it further was of utmost importance.

"Es tha' alricht?" Anderson stroked a clammy cheek to get his love's attention.

"Ughmm."

Anderson's answer was in form of an unintelligible groan and a limp nod of the head.

"Tha's great, wonderful. Hehehe." Anderson's laughs were only born of his own growing unease. Enrico's condition was worsening by the minute, more luster and life draining from his face as more time passed. A dangerous excess of alcohol, an unsteady mind, and serious injuries had created one of the rare moments where Anderson doubted his ability to take the pains away.

And a mangled hand still hung loosely at the man's side, twitching with each painful jolt.

"Enrico. Enrico look at meh." He steadied his head to look him in his eyes, despite the way they rolled away every second. "Ye're extremely hurt, ahn Ah dinnae think Ah can care fer ye properly. Ah'm going tae get th' doctors, they'll beh able tae help ye better than Ah can."

"N-No!" Enrico jumped to life in an instant, tears rolling from his terrified eyes as he clung to his only protector helplessly. "Don't leave me don't leave me Anderson! Don't go away!"

"Ah'm not going anywhere Ah'll beh wit ye."

"No I want to be with you! Only you! Don't give me away!"

Anderson felt what little resolve he had slip away when Enrico fell forward and burrowed into his chest shaking and crying. He sighed, admittedly feeling relief at his ward's eagerness to stay. Despite his reservations about his own abilities, to be able to tend to Enrico personally would always take eight off his chest. It was one of the very few selfish tendencies he had. With long, smooth strokes he rubbed his love's back and neck warmly, feeling the shivers subside a bit from his touch.

"Ah'd never dae tha', ye're mah honeyswate, ahn sae dear tae meh heart. Ah wis onlae talkin' aboot doctors Enrico."

"Don't go."

"Ah'm not, ahn yer not either."

For the first time that night Anderson felt the tightness in his chest slacken as the body against him relaxed.

"There weh gae, et's alricht. Noo Ah'm going tae gae-"

A sharp whine interrupted him.

"Shhh, not tha' way, joos' th' other room luv. Going tae get something tae make ae sling fer ye. Ah'll beh close, Ah won't leave ye."

He settled Enrico back against the wall, feeling his chest tighten again as he pried off the hand still clutching at his cassock weakly. In his mind he swore that removing his lover's hand took more strength and effort than disentangling himself from a demon's claws. The pained whispers and whimpers didn't help as well.

"Plaze, Ah'll joos' beh ae minute."

He rushed out the door, heading straight for his linen closet to search for an appropriate cloth. He couldn't set the hand. He could set arms and legs, perfecting this skill after years of aiding his compatriots on the battlefield, but hands were different, delicate and intricate. He didn't dare attempt it, especially with a hand that was so important to him. The thought of permanently damaging his dove was too horrible to imagine.

Just as he found the perfectly sized piece, he heard crashes from the bathroom, and rushed back over.

"Enrico! Enrico aur ye alri-"

He came in just in time to see Enrico vomit the alcohol-filled contents of his stomach out into the toilet he was hunched over, each retch sending rending waves of spasms throughout his body.

Anderson was at his side in mere moments.

"Ah got ye, Ah'm 'ere, et'll beh okay joos' let et all oot, yer okay."

He could only hold his lover's long dirtied locks back and hold him up, taking some of the stress off of the man's one usable arm as he was subjected to endless waves of great, body shaking heaves.

Anderson kissed his tarnished crown and never stopped his litany of tender words, wanting to let Enrico know that he was right there, touching and speaking to him.

The breaks from Enrico's anguish were rare and brief, only long enough to allow him a few loud gasping breaths before being hurtled back into a swirling world of stinging bile and nausea.

"Et'll beh over soon, Ah proomise."

With a last mighty heave the vomiting subsided and Enrico took a drowning breath, his lungs burning for air.

"Breathe Enrico breathe, git th' air flowing."

When the exhausted body fell back into him Anderson was on the floor immediately and cradling the exhausted man as he broke out in tears against his chest.

Anderson knew better than to make a deal out of the tears soaking his shirt. There was no gain in reminding the proud man of the weak state he was now in.

So Anderson remained silent, offering his love and sympathy through tender kisses and warm caresses.

It was strangely peaceful to just sit and hold him, and he hoped with all his heart that calmness and love would soak through his pores and into his endlessly plagued victim. He rocked back and forth while humming a quiet tune; taking special care to the injured arm and supporting it carefully to keep it steady, not wanting any extra pain to befall his Enrico.

He still shook and cried from his pains, but the flow of tears had started to slowly subside, leaving only the soaked area of Anderson's shirt as evidence that they existed in the first place.

"Enrico. Ah need tae fix yer arm oop." Indeed he did, and when he though about it that should have been the first thing to be attended to but there was no room for hindsight. "Ah'm going tae put ye doon, can ye sit oop by yerself?"

Another weak nod, and Anderson began the careful process of lifting him up and sitting him upright.

Damn, unless Enrico was going to be stuck in a shirt stained with a variety of bodily fluids he'd have to remove it before the sling was cast.

He began to work on the buttons to the no-longer-white shirt carefully, fumbling with the tiny, slick buttons a bit due to his large fingers. Enrico let out a confused noise as his shirt was opened, to which Anderson immediately responded.

"Shhhh, Ah mean nothang by et, Ah joos' need tae git et off. Dinnae want ye stuck en et all night aye?" He gave a reassuring smile as he lifted the good arm up first, sliding it off gently with his face creased in concentration. One down, one to go.

"This will hurt Enrico, Ah'll tae beh as careful as Ah can boot et'll hurt."

Enrico whimpered as his other arm was lifted to which Anderson soothed away with a kiss. Everything was going smoothly until the sleeve reached the hand. The instant the fabric began pulling over the battered flesh Enrico screamed, crying out endless messes of Italian words that Anderson just didn't have the focus to translate, all of his attentions turned to removing that damned shirt as quickly as possible. Hearing the panicked, agonized cries of his companion made him want to pull away and give up the endeavor all together.

"Et's okay, et's okay, Ah'm almoost doon ye're alricht, this es th' last thang ahn then et's all over…"

After a few more brutally long moments the sleeve was off and the shirt slipped to the floor unheeded, and a sling was already being fashioned.

"See? We're doon, we're doon, ye won't 'ave tae feel tha' ever again."

Anderson continued to whisper to the patient still reeling from the aftershocks of the ordeal in calm, steady tones as he wrapped the sheet around him. Getting the arm in the sling was simple and relatively painless, with only a small gasp of shock as the hand was finally laid to rest on the cloth. Another cloth was wrapped around the man's body, tightening the binds against the man for extra stability.

A relieved sigh left Enrico's lips and his muscles relaxed, finally given some respite. The relief was contagious and Anderson felt a flood of his own wash over him. Bringing an arm over his brow he was shocked to see that he had been sweating rather profusely this whole time. He hadn't even felt it.

His attention snapped back to his ward as he heard the man moan, and the relief faded away. The pale face was obviously feverish, and the simple act of placing his hand against the man's quivering forehead confirmed his suspicions, hot to the touch yet with the body shaking as if it were cold.

He frowned, knowing there was little he could do about whatever was ailing the man except continuing the aid he was giving now. They just had to make it till morning…

"How aboot Ah fix ye oop ae leetle hm?" Putting on his best attempt at an optimistic face and tone he looked over Enrico one more time before heading over to the counter, picking up a hairbrush and a couple of wet cloths.

"Here weh gae, this will beh mooch better than everything else aye?"

Bracing Enrico's head he dabbed the cloth gingerly at the man's heated brow, getting him used to the cool stimulus before softly wiping away the grime of the night.

After a small gasp of initial surprise Enrico leaned into the touch, seeking the feel of the cold cloth that was being so carefully administered by his faithful companion. He crooned soft dulcet noises of approval and tried to move closer his comfort giver, even as unsteady as he was. It wasn't long before he threatened to fall once again.

"Ah! Enrico!" Anderson ceased his caresses to the toppling man, yet only received a whine of disproval from the rescued.

He sighed with a small smile. "Aye, Ah'm glad ye loch this." Enrico had his wish fulfilled and was pulled closer, being set down in the Anderson's wide lap. "This moor comfortable?"

"Mmhrm." Exhausted, there was a solid thump as Enrico's head fell up against Anderson's chest like a falling rock, no longer needing to expend any effort in supporting himself up any longer. Cloudy blue eyes were lulled to close as the blunted spikes of the brush were combed through his hair.

It had become a tangled mess, full of knots and mats that Anderson had to work on one at a time with the utmost gentleness, but the work was one of the most pleasant things he had done all night. He began to hum an unknown tune, long forgotten to the trials of his life but still there, resurfacing for this brief time of peace.

Against his chest he could feel the shaking tremors that had filled him with so much dread beginning to subside. It was if a tremendous weight had been lifted from his heart, so much that tears threatened to fall as he squeezed his beloved closer, kissing anywhere on that sacred head that he could reach.

In his distraction the brush slipped, pulling a knot too tightly and making Enrico gasp with pain.

"Ah! Ah'm saerry joos' give meh ae second." As he frantically tried to untangle the brush he glanced down, and saw the sharp, displeased glare that Enrico had given him countless times before. It stopped Anderson cold, and he smiled. The tears that had been threatening to fall could not be held back, and a few streamed down his face. Enrico's expression changed quickly to one of confusion.

"Nay, et's naethang, gae back tae yer restin'." He gave a lingering kiss to his crown, his fingers caressing the man's face as it's laid itself down on his chest once more with a please sigh.

After a long while of patiently brushing through every tangle Enrico's hair was returned to its normal silky sheen, soft enough that Anderson could run his large fingers through it with ease.

"How does tha' feel?"

"N-n-nice."

"Ye 'ave nae idea how happy that makes meh…." Petting the top of Enrico's head he began to get up, grunting with effort to balance himself on his long legs.

"Let's git ye en bed, maybe git soom sleep, aye?"

Enrico gave a quiet murmur of agreement as Anderson strode over to his bed, and adjusting his bundle lightly, laid Enrico down to rest and pulled the covers over him, but then remembered something.

"O, yer shoes aur still on, let meh git those." He kneeled at the bedside, pulling back the covers and untying the laces to the leather boots deftly. United, he took them off and placed them neatly on the floor, lining them up perfectly side-by-side.

"There weh aur. Ah'll join ye en ae moment, joos' going tae git ready mahself."

Even with his reassurances Enrico still gasped and turned wide-eyed towards the man that was getting farther and farther away, almost falling out of the bed in his attempt to follow.

"Anderson!"

"Whit-Enrico!" Anderson sprinted back, catching his ward before he fell too far and settled him back against the pillows. "Dinnae dae tha' ye'll hurt yerself. Ah dinnae want anything else tae happen tae ye." He leaned down, letting Enrico clutch at him tightly as he soothed the frantic man with gentle words and kisses. "Ah'm joos' going tae beh ae leetle ways away, ye'll see meh plainly ahn Ah'll onlae beh ae moment." With a final kiss he got up slowly, continually watching Enrico as he walked away, making sure that he didn't jump out like he almost did before.

Enrico never took his eyes from Anderson as well, watching him like a hawk with fear still in his eyes.

Glancing back every so often Anderson shed his cassock and laid it on a nearby chair, loosening his collar, undoing buttons, an removing his shoes, placing them on the ground in the exact way as Enrico's.

"See? Still here." He chuckled as he got into bed, pulling the covers over the tow of them and making sure to tuck Enrico in a bit. In an instant Enrico had latched on to the large source or warmth and comfort beside him before he had even a chance to lay down, holding on as best he could with his single arm.

"Hey noo, hehe. Give meh ae moment. Let meh give ye soomthang better." Snaking an arm underneath the clingy man he cradled him close to him, laying him down against his chest. "Better, aye?"

Enrico cooed in pleasure when Anderson began to rub his back in firm, smooth circles, the feel of rough skin proving to be welcome, relaxing sensation against the exposed skin of his back. He's was still sweaty, his breathing was still raspy, and the grip of the hand clutching at his chest was weak, but Enrico was there, and laying on Anderson's shoulder with a look of calm on his features.

The night was winding down, and the muted light of the moon wafted over the two figures cuddled close together under the thin sheets. The silver light glided down Enrico's golden hair in waves as Anderson's hand continuously stroked it, soothing away from the locks all signs of the night's terror. Never once did Anderson's touch ever leave his sleeping prince, and neither did his eyes, cradling him in the warmth of his arms as he keep his silent vigil for the rest of the night. Despite the rigors and trials, the mental exhaustion and the fright, in his limbs Anderson felt no fatigue, and in his eyes no desire to let them close. If anything else were to happen that night, if Enrico's condition was to worsen in any way, Anderson was determined to be there.

He promised to his companion that he would stay, and that was exactly what he planned to do.


	3. Chapter 3

Anderson was pacing around the outside of Enrico's room in a huff when Renaldo came up to him and placed a comforting hand upon his shoulder.

"You know he's going to be fine my friend. You've been out here all morning, wouldn't it be best for you to get some rest?"

"Nay." Anderson shook his head, staring at the ground with a face covered in agitated worry. "Ah want tae see him."

"He's well taken care of Anderson, you've already done more than enough."

"Ah dinnae understand why Ah can't see him."

"The doctors want him to recover in peace, God knows he needs it."

"Aye, he does." A thought suddenly struck Anderson and he turned to face his brother in faith. "Speakin' o' which, ye've made sure this leetle "incident" has remained quiet aye?"

Renaldo chuckled. "Is that even a question?" He patted Anderson reassuringly on the back. "Everything has been worked out. No one will know about this just like all the other times."

"Aye, th' other times…." Anderson's eyes turned somber as they looked down at the floor, blankly staring at the intricate designs.

"Anderson, I know you're worried about this pattern, but now is not the time for you to be fretting like you are. You're going to wear yourself out at this rate."

"Ah can handle et."

Renaldo sighed. "I know you can, but you shouldn't. Our leader is going to be fine, trust me. Shaken a bit, but still fit for his for his duties. Our doctors can save men mangled by the unholy and undead, I think they can help our friend just fine."

His friend's light laughter encouraged a smile to appear on Anderson's weary face. "Yer right. Boot still…"

It was obvious to see the worry still written all over his face, ingrained into every wrinkle and crease. Looking around for a moment, Renaldo shoved Anderson gently in the direction of the towering oaken doors. "No one's here, if you want to go in here's your chance. I do not think anyone would try to kick you out."

"Whit really?'

"Well sulking isn't going to do you any good, and if anyone deserves to see him it's you, after what you've endured. You have the patience of a saint after all."

"Heh, thank ye mah friend, Ah won't tell anywan aboot this either."

"You should get in there before anyone sees."

"Ah'm going Ah'm going." Opening the doors he turned and gave a friendly salute before entering the room, and letting the doors shut with a solid clunk behind him.

The air was still as he stepped into the room, the sun's rays' filling the room with a glowing warmth. It was silent except for the faint traces of breath he could hear from all the way across the luxurious space, and his own shallow breathing in his own ears.

Anderson's hand lingered on the doorknob, clutching it like a buoy as he looked across the sea of light to the sleeping figure tucked under his sheets' shimmering colors.

With a deep breath Anderson let go of the knob and made the journey to Enrico's bedside. The hollow clunks of his boots beat like a steady heart's rhythm as he stepped out into the tile sea, feeling the wave of sunlight wash over him in an ethereal glow. It was if his feet were moving on their own as his eyes remained glued on the target, needing no coordination or even the slightest awareness of his own body for it to do what he wished. A chair creaked and a body sat down, unmoving, too lost at the moment to comprehend his environment.

It was all like a dream, a hazy, obscure dream. Lying in front of him was a man that last night Anderson had feared had ceased to exist, that he would never again see the small quirk of a smile in the corners of Enrico's lips in the morning sun, or the way the morning light played upon his hair.

Only a few hours ago it was as if Anderson had fallen into a personal hell, a dark and never-ending pit, and now here he was, sitting near his angelic figure of man as sunlight encased him like a blanket.

He pulled back the covers just a bit, enough to see the damage from last nights terror. The man's hand had been properly set and put in a new sling, his shoulders wrapped and his neck stitched up. All the sweat, blood, and grime had been washed away from the entirety of his body, and his hair was a perfect silky sheen, clean of any impurities. Only the hidden, wrapped up injuries remained as a testament to his ward's breakdown.

The glint of metal caught Anderson's eye and he spotted the IV bag not too far away. Painkillers. Proper ones.

Anderson's chest twisted as he looked at the scene. So much of last night had been washed away by the day, and it hurt him. It was as if he hadn't even been there.

The sheets rustled slightly, and Anderson was broken out of his reverie with a start and jumping up out of his chair. Enrico had moved, even if it was just an inch he had moved.

He sat back down, ignoring the IV and the bandages and the light, focusing only on the soft feel of hair under his palm, and the sight of the pale chest rising and falling like a wafting feather.

An empty hand was sticking out of the covers, the delicate fingers curved into tiny, elegant arcs that had been carved out of porcelain, and just as vulnerable.

With bated breath Anderson reached out and enwrapped the whole of that lonely hand in the cusp of his palm, giving it heat and shelter from the exposure of the world and guarding it's fluttering pulse with his own flesh.

"Ah'm glad yer okay." He raised the divine digits to his lips, pressing the dried, tired pads to skin with a pillow's softness.

Enrico was still, slumbering on despite the shows of affection by his protector, but it didn't matter to Anderson. He remained hunched over in his chair, watching his love get the sleep he desperately needed with the man's fragile hand clutched between both of his palms.

He lost track of time as he sat there, ever vigilant by his prince's side and waiting for those bright blue eyes to open once more.

Lost in the hazy warmth of his position he didn't hear the door closing and the small gasp of surprise.

"Father?"

Anderson grunted with surprise and twisted his head around, coming eye-to-eye with the surprised nurse at the other end of the room.

"O, dinnae, dinnae notice ye coom en." He only let go with one hand, using it to rub his face tiredly. "Lost track o' everything fer ae moment."

"No it's alright, it's just, I'm here to check on the bishop, and, and you're not supposed to be here."

The twist came back.

"Ahn why es tha'?" He regarded the nurse in a cool, even tone. "Ah dinnae see th' 'arm en et."

An annoying floral scent hung in the air. The girl's perfume. A disgusting scent trying to mask his nostrils to the clean, fresh smell of his companion.

"It's the doctors orders Father, he's adamant that the bishop be left in peace. I, I'll have to ask you to leave."

Something else felt off about the room, it didn't feel right.

"He can coom talk tae meh then."

The air was off. It was no longer still and something else was in it, invading their space.

"Please Father, he'll be well taken care of."

This was his and his ward's domain, they belonged in it, he belonged to it.

"Ah can take et froom 'ere. Ah can take care o' this man."

Belonged right at his prince's side.

"You can come back when the doctor says it's okay, it shouldn't be that long."

How dare they.

The nurse recoiled in shock at the sharp squeak the chair made when it pushed against the floor. Anderson only stood up as far he could while keeping a hold on the limp hand in his grasp. The look he gave the nurse was not one of anger, but of a stubborn resolution that could burn through a person even if they were miles away from him.

"Ah. Can take care o'. This man."

The nurse retreated backwards, clutching her clipboard in vice-like grip as she struggled to find the ability to speak.

"Y-y-y-yes, of course you can, I'll, I'll just leave you be then. Forgive my disturbance."

Anderson said nothing as he watched the poor girl hurry out the doors, feeling only relief as all traces of her presence went out the door with her, and the room returned to normal as even the sickly sweet perfume wafted away.

With a contented growl he sat back down and clutched the precious porcelain within both of his grips, looking over the sleeping body intensely as he searched for signs of disturbance.

The man slept on without even a murmur, unaware of the one-sided standoff that had occurred mere minutes ago.

Adjusting to the seat of the chair he quickly settled down within the intimate atmosphere of their own miniature world as he continued to wait for his only companion's eyes to open.

Without once getting up he sat there, making small adjustments to the pillows and covers, tucking him in more if he seemed cold, loosening the sheets if he seemed warm. He was never out of arm's reach of the sleeping man, keeping at least some sort of physical contact upon him at all times whether it was holding his hand or just letting the tips of his fingers lightly touch the nearest piece of his form as he turned to search for the hairbrush.

He didn't like how those long, flowing locks were so strictly confined under Enrico's sleeping body. It wasn't even brushed right, too strictly flattened out.

Slipping a hand underneath the back of his head and through the gap at the mid of his neck, he pulled the hair from it's confines and let in flow down into his lap with liquid ease. He took the brush to hair, gently combing out the few knots and tangles that existed. There weren't many due to all the attention it had been recently getting, but Anderson knew there would be some, there always were.

He scowled at the way they had kept it hidden under Enrico's sleeping body, ignoring it. Enrico's hair was important and required constant care. How dare they hide it away.

A small murmur and twitch from his beloved drew his attention and stopped all of his muscles dead still. Had he woken him accidentally?

His breath instantly hushed, afraid to make the slightest sound for fear of exacerbating his mistake, each small movement making him tenser by the second.

Tiny coos of pleasure came from rosy lips as Enrico's eyelids fluttered open, and then closed again, the man falling back into sleep warm and happy.

The tension left Anderson like a balloon deflating, his lungs emptying and his shoulders slumping with relief. As much as he wanted to see Enrico awake and livid, it would be too selfish to force him from his badly needed repose. He would wake up when he was ready, and Anderson would be right there to greet his re-entry into the world with a kiss.

Leaning back in his chair, he continued to brush and groom with a warm, domestic contentment as he hummed quietly. Every few seconds he would look up to check on Enrico's condition, stopping only to brush away any stray strands of hair tickling his eyelids or threatening to get in his mouth. Sometimes, he'd even reach down to lay his hand down on top of his beau's still hand, feeling the minute ridges and bumps of his aristocratic fingers as he giving it comforting strokes to warm him while he slept.

The hair began slipping from his fingers, and he found that holding it had become as difficult as trying to keep water from running over the sides of one's palm. Placing the brush down, he rubbed Enrico's ivory arm gently as he examined the silky locks spilling from his fingers. It was as bright and shimmering as a polished pearl, and so soft to he touch it was as if one was touching air. How long had he been brushing exactly?

Shaking himself out of his thoughts he gathered up the rapunzel locks and lifting the covers, laid them neatly about Enrico's body. A few loops of hair spilled out from underneath his head and flowed down the side of the bed like a stream shining in the sunlight.

With a frantic snort he leaned down to quickly gather it back up, curling it about his hand as brought it up to Enrico's still body. He was about to smooth it down under the covers like the rest when he paused, Enrico's calm features catching his attention.

His face had turned to its side, his ivory cheek cradled against the soft tide of sun-kissed hair spilling out from beneath him. It was as if white gold had been laid upon yellow, and his flawless skin shined. Long feathery jet-black lashes stuck out from over his closed eyes, casting tiny flickering shadows upon his lightly flushed cheeks. His eyes were drawn down the shadows guiding line to a pair of tinted lips that rested with a small upturn to their corners. They were relaxed and gentle, free of the taut pout that usually lived upon them.

Uncoiling the hair, he let it rest by its owner's side before raising a hand to sweep over and against the side of Enrico's upturned face like a bristling breeze. Everything about him was so soft, soft to his hands, to his eyes. It was impossible to resist bending down to kiss that tender brow, his hand cupping the back of his head in a supportive grasp as his lips whispered loving words to unhearing ears.

Minutes ticked by before he gained the strength to pull himself away from his lover's flushed skin, but he finally managed too, feeling as if an invisible line connecting them strained and pulled at his chest while he did so.

The hand he kept on Enrico's arm soothed his separation anxiety away as he leaned back into his chair, promising to himself that he wouldn't risk awakening his ward like that again. The only contact he allowed himself was only light touches and strokes, repressing the need to coddle the man closer.

It became easy after a while and he began to feel his own sleepy contentment overtake him. The night had drained him and left him with no sleep to face the day filed with frantic worry and rushed changes. He had called in the doctors once the sun had risen; yet when they came he instantly regretted it. They had whisked him away when they saw him, taking him away from Anderson so fast he had been taken out the door and far away before Anderson even had time to register the sudden emptiness in his arms. He had spent the whole night with him and in an instant he was gone, making him frantic with worry the rest of the day. The way the doctors seemed to ignore every inquiry he had only worsened his mental state. No matter how much they tried to shoo him away, he had paced and fretted in front of those doors until Renaldo had come to talk to him.

His eyelids sank and his head began to nod as the slow, rhythmic rising and falling of Enrico's chest and the sounds of his breathing lulled him to sleep like a lullaby.

The couple remained undisturbed as they rested together; both taking their well-deserved reprieve from the trials life had thrown upon them in the comforting presence of the other, with Anderson's hand glued to Enrico's arm the entire time.

The sheets rustled, slightly at first, and then more, and more, until blue eyes shot open only to be greeted with bright sunlight and his beds ornate canopy.

His breathing quickened and his heart began to race as the confusion and fear overwhelmed him. The only thing to ground his frantic mind was the warm pressure on his arm. He twisted his head around and saw his rock.

His voice frozen, he tried to reach out with an arm but was met with a fabric barrier and sharp pain, and upon looking down to see his dominant arm in bindings felt the dread build up inside him to a pressure that forced the desired words from his mouth.

"A-Alex! Alex!"

Anderson jolted out of his slumber immediately at his ward's anguished cry and rushed over, knocking his chair to ground in his wake.

"Enrico! Enrico shhhh, shhh, et's alricht." Anderson had wrapped himself around Enrico's upper half, surrounding him with his comforting bulk and soothing brogue.

The distressed man babbled and shook, clinging to Anderson with the same desperate grip he had used when he had come running into his ever-welcoming arms for protection the night before.

Anderson rubbed Enrico's back slowly, using the foolproof method to get the man's hiccupping to subside. "Ah got ye noo, Ah got ye. Coorie doon luv."

And Enrico did just that, nestling his head into the folds of Anderson's clothing and taking in his musky scent with slow, deep breaths. "What, what happened?"

"Ae lot o' thangs happened, boot tha' nay th' issue right noo. Can ye lay doon again? Ye need yer rest."

Enrico nodded, letting himself be lowered down into the silky sheets and be tucked in neatly. The fear-spurred burst of adrenaline floated away and was replaced by the lazy, mind-numbing drugs running through him, and they hit him hard. "Ughhh. Alex, Alex what is going, going on?"

Anderson looked over and smiled, sitting down as he ran a hand softly over Enrico's brow. "Those aur joos' th' painkillers workin', nothin' tae beh worried aboot."

"Painkillers? What-why?"

"Ye got messed oop pretty badly last-" Anderson closed his mouth, catching his tongue before it spoke the triggering words. This was not the time.

"Huh?" Enrico's head flopped to the side to look at Anderson with hazy eyes. "What were you saying?"

"Naethang." He chuckled nervously and leaned over to give Enrico a peck on the cheek. "Aur ye thirsty? Ye 'aven't had anything tae drink en ae while."

"Ah, Si, I guess that would be good. Wait!"

An oddly familiar surge of panic shot through him as Anderson got up, pulling at the man's sleeve with his good arm to keep him still. "Why are you leaving?"

"Ah, Ah'm gittin' ye ae drink." The confusion in his eyes melted away as his mind flashed back to last night. He should have expected this. "Ah'll beh close, loch Ah always am, dinnae worry yer pretty head. Ah hate being far froom ye."

"Be right back."

"O' course."

It took a little while to remove Enrico's hand from his arm, and even though his freedom meant he could care for the man, the tug of separation still panged in his chest as he practically ran off to the sink that was so far away.

Enrico watched closely, the pounding in his chest quickening with each step Anderson took. Something was so familiar about that gait, about the words Anderson kept speaking to him, the look in his eyes. He tried to move his hand, only to find it tightly restricted. He looked at his shoulders, only to find that they were bandaged. What had happened?

There was an odd tightness around his throat, the way it chaffed against his skin making it uncomfortable to move his head. Why the hell was that the-.

"Tha' dinnae take tae lang, see? Ah'm back. Ye joos' 'ave ae large room tha's all hehheh-Enrico?"

Anderson's gut twisted in on itself at the sight of Enrico's change of state. His head was turned away, hiding every inch of his face from Anderson's sight. There was no way for Anderson to tell whether or not he was crying or staring, if there was silent rage or guilt upon his face, and his blindness to the condition of his distressed charge scared him, but not as much as the heavy knowledge that Enrico had finally remembered.

"Enrico, Enrico can ye look at meh?" He covered the gap between them with careful steps, approaching the man like one would to a wounded animal. "Ah need tae see ye Enrico."

The man remained turned away as Anderson sat down into his chair. Upon being closer, Anderson could see the unpleasant sight of his ward's skin shivering from his great distress.

Setting the glass down on the table Anderson sat in silence, his hands folded in his lap and watching Enrico with solemn eyes. The pang ripped at his chest, feeling farther away from his love than he had the whole ordeal. His hand itched for contact, for the comforting reassurance that Enrico was indeed near and not miles away.

Against his better judgment he reached out to Enrico, hoping that his touch might draw him out of whatever dark place he had fallen into and out of his selfish desire for contact.

Enrico gasped sharply and flinched away from the rough hand the instant it touched his skin, the shaking increasing when the hand refused to go away.

"Dinnae dae tha', plaze dinnae dae tha'. Ye've already gone through enough."

His words only inspired Enrico to try twisting away with a pitiful whimper.

"Dinnae, Enrico, Ah dinnae think anything o' ye, joos' coom back to meh." His pleadings fell on deaf ears as Enrico continued his struggles, his sounds of displeasure becoming louder.

Anderson felt as if his heart had been shot, his fingers curling tightly into his palm as he pulled his hand away. Heavy breath poured from his nostrils as he sat uneasily, tensely brushing back his hair as his mind racked for a solution, a rope to which he could rescue Enrico from his own mind.

"Ah'll git ye anything ye need, Ah'll listen tae whitever ye 'ave tae say, Enrico Ah'm 'ere fer ye, ahn Ah always will beh." Just keep talking, that was his best plan at the moment.

"Ah've been scared, scared all last might ahn taeday, boot et's different noo. Yer 'ere ahn safe, yer not en tha' place anymoor. Tha's all Ah care aboot. Ah'm not angry oor disgusted at ye, oor anything ye might beh thinking Ah am right noo. H joos' care aboot ye, Ah joos' care aboot ye being alricht. Enrico Ah luv ye, wit mah whole heart Ah luv ye."

"Why?"

That single word, spoken in such an emotionless voice froze Anderson. Why. "Why" had been a part of last night, a disgusting player in the sickly game, and here it was, rearing its ugly head once again.

"Why whit?"

"Why do you love me?"

The air fell silent, the moments ticking slowly by as both parties stewed in their own laments.

"Why…Hm." Anderson set his jaw as he thought. "Et hurts meh tha' ye think ye even 'ave tae ask tha' question."

"Then I am only doing what I seem to be best at."

Anderson's heart sank as he watched Enrico curl in upon himself, wanting to take away the shame and self-loathing racking all of his being. "Nay, tha's not true. Et's seeing ye talk aboot yerself tha' way tha' hurts meh. There's nae reason fer ye tae question why ae person luvs ye."

"Hah. There are thousands of reasons."

"Nae there aren't."

"Why do you love me Alexander? Truly you do not think someone as vile as me deserves someone as immaculate as you?"

"Enrico." Despite the way he flinched Anderson set a firm, reassuring hand on his love's shoulder, squeezing it gently as he spoke. "Ah luv ye because Ah 'ave tae."

He heard a small gasp and the beginnings of tiny sobs, the realization of how Enrico had interpreted his words hitting him as the shoulder under his palm began to tremble.

"Nae! Nae Ah dinnae mean et loch tha'. Ah 'ave tae luv ye Enrico, not because Ah feel obligated, oor forced tae by anywan oor anything, et's because Ah 'ave tae. Ah can't not luv ye."

The body beneath him stilled and became silent, and Anderson took that as the signal to keep going.

"Et's hard tae explain, boot et's soomthang Ah can't control, soomthang no wan can. Tae meh, ye dinnae deserve meh, ye deserve moor than meh, soomwan greater, soomwan who take away all yer troubles ahn erase yer scars. Soomwan who can once ahn fer all save ye ahn make ye truly happy. That's whit Ah think ye deserve." In a spurt of boldness he reached over Enrico's side and took the man's hidden hand up into his own, lifting it up so he could press the fragile bones to his lips. Enrico did not protest, but his eyes remained glued to the far window.

"Until then Ah'll beh 'ere, givin' ye everythang Ah can, helpin' ye en whitever way tha's en mah means, despite mah failings.

Even ef tha' day cooms when ye find soomwan moor capable than Ah, Ah'll still luv ye Enrico, because there's nae way fer meh tae stoop. Ef et means ye finally realize how worthy ye aur o' luv and acceptance, then Ah'll gladly watch ye gae wit th' person who gave ye tha' joyful epiphany. Boot Ah'll never stoop luving ye, nae matter whit happens tha' part o' meh will never gae away. Ye've burned yerself intae mah flesh ahn soul, ahn Ah luv ye Enrico. Ah luv ye."

His penitent lips trembled from the force of his confessions, pressing harder into the pale skin of his witness with greater intensity. "Ye deserve sae mooch." His breathing was coming in deep, shaky breaths and he clung to the hand tighter, scared to let go. "Thangs tha' Ah feel tha' Ah've been failin' tae give ye. Ah can't even take thangs away. Dae ye ken whit Ah'd give fer the ability tae remove yer burdens? Tae lift th' weights off yer shoulders ahn put them tae mine? Anythang, anythang tae see ye lighter ahn free, even ef mah own body es torn tae pieces by th' strain ahn shredded by th' agony, Ah'd care not. Ah'd dae et, ahn there wuid beh joy en mah heart as Ah suffered, smilin' as Ah was ripped apart, ahn never once wuid mah feelin's fer ye change. Ah am irrevocably stuck luving ye, ahn Ah luv every moment o' et."

Hot tears streamed down his face and onto his lips, wetting them with the products of his bared soul and leaving it's remnants on his beloved's unmoving hand. How he wished the hand would move, whether to strike or accept him, anything that would confirm that the man's ears had heard him. He wanted those aristocratic fingers to flex and bend, to caress him with his tender touch or to scratch his flesh and make him bleed. Whatever method of reprieve Anderson's body could provide, he'd give it, even if it meant flesh from his bones.

Painful minutes passed and the unresponsiveness of his only tore at his heartstrings, feeling each fiber of the muscular organ rip as the seconds passed by.

So it was no surprise that when those ivory fingers twitched Anderson's heart soared.

"Enrico!" He covered the slowly bending fingers with a slew of moistened kisses. "Mah heart, mah luv."

"Don't."

Anderson froze obediently at the command and looked up. Enrico was looking at him for the first time in a long while.

"Don't do that. You have no reason to prostrate yourself before me when you have done nothing wrong."

"Enrico-" Anderson was stopped by a hand placed against his lips.

With groans of effort Enrico sat up, wavering from the drug-induced loss of coordination. Anderson of course immediately moved back to give the man his much-needed space.

"You have always had a talent, for saying things I could never truly understand. Heh." He looked down at his hand with emotionless eyes; seemingly mesmerized by the way he could curl and uncurl his fingers. "How strange, that no matter how much you try, I always seem to ruin your efforts. And yet still you carry on, willing to ruin yourself for a man like me." He turned his hand over to stare at the needle embedded in his flesh. "There are so many things about you, I fear I do not understand. Sometimes, when I see you, all I see is a giant book written in an entirely foreign language unknown to mankind, with only a few footnotes in my native tongue. And yet you persist on, despite my grotesque existence you come down to my level and bless me with your holy words that someone like me could never truly understand. Am I still worthy of your love Anderson?"

"Whitever oor Lord has planned fer us en life ahn death, Ah will spend every moment o' our eternal existence together giving ye mah luv, even ef forever et remains ae mystery tae ye."

"Then I shall do my best to try and decipher you, for the eternity we have together, whether it be purgatory or hell." He let out a dry laugh. "I sincerely doubt I would make it easily to heaven."

"Aye, same here."

Their eyes met in a look of mutual understanding as in perfect synchrony, their bloodstained hands came together in a soulful grip.

"Ah will be glad, when yer hands 'ave yer full strength returned tae them."

"And many others will be terrified when that happens. How much do you want to bet my enemies are praying for my demise?"

"Pay them nae mind, fer as lang as Ah'm 'ere they won't git th' pleasure."

"The ultimate kink in their plans."

It seemed like to the both of them that it had been years since they had shared smiles, but Anderson noticed the way Enrico's fair eyes began to droop.

"Yer tired luv." He rubbed Enrico's hand softly. "Maybe ye shuid git moor rest."

"Mmm, si, but Anderson."

"Aye?"

"When I wake up, will you still be here?"

"Whit dae ye think?"

"Hah." Enrico smiled as he lay back down onto his pillow. "Si, I guess I know the answer to that already."

"See? Yer catchin' on." Anderson flashed a wide grin at his sleepy ward, stroking his head as he began to drift to rest.

"Mmm, Si. Though it is nothing more than a single sentence in your book."

"Doesn't matter. Ah luv ye." Anderson leaned down and gave him a kiss to his forehead. "'Ave sweet dreams mah luv."

"With you here I don't see how I couldn't."

Whispering his final words Enrico fell into well-needed slumber, with his faithful guardian by his side.

Keeping his never-ending promise, Anderson held Enrico's hand, and never let go.


End file.
